if you've read up on or watched television about the history of earth's space programs, you've probably heard about the the Pioneer Plaques.

they were anodized gold plates engraved with simple illustrated representations that scientists considered important information to convey if discovered in space by sentient life. a "message from mankind" out there in the vacuum of space.

but have you seen these things? I mean,, come on.

(cont.)

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i have decided to spend this Friday morning correcting where earth's ostensible brightest minds went wrong.

i've got a hefty slab of brushed steel in the garage, and if you give me ideas about what REALLY important information we should be conveying to aliens then i'll engrave it onto the plate.

then, tonight, i will launch that fucker right into space. it has to wait until nighttime, because that's when space is above us.

โฌ‡๏ธ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฏ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€

ยท Web ยท 13 ยท 12 ยท 26

okay this is good. this is PRECISELY what alieyums need to evaluate before they encounter us.

keep 'em coming please.

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awright now we're cooking with grease!

space needs to know that earth has the delicious lure of tasty reuben sandwiches. BUT BEWARE! earth is not all tasty sandwiches,, it's also a hellscape of Joker Leto and a judgmental Porky Pig.

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illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

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illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

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illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

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thanks for the help, everyone!!

time to sit back and wait for some chillass aliens to arrive and discover the ruins of our civilization.

โ˜บ๏ธ โ˜ ๏ธ ๐ŸŒ†

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@jackdaw_ruiz please write โ€œwho has a crush on sabrinaโ€ on the plate. and then if they send it back with a response tell me... for science

@jackdaw_ruiz can we have sexier naked people in more body types please

@jackdaw_ruiz we need to market ourselves if we want that alien attention

nsfw luigi 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

@anarchiv @jackdaw_ruiz yes, this phrase needs to be added to the plaque somewhere or the aliens will never hope to understand us

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

@jackdaw_ruiz great thread jackdaw, we built something for all of us today o7

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

illustrations of food, lewd, and eye contact 

@jackdaw_ruiz sweet christ, you're sending that reuben to space? without hots and pickles? what the hell, why would anyone come to earth if we make them think we don't have good sandwiches?

@alexis

we need to be tolerant of weirdo aliens that don't like pickles or flavor. gotta be good intergalactic neighbors here.

@jackdaw_ruiz although also, is space minnesota something we want to encourage

@jackdaw_ruiz you got bitch of an earth swoluigi but not big tiddy alf?

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Glittering Diamonds

it's avant garde we ain't gotta explain shit.