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if i ever wake up in the hospital with amnesia, first thing i'm gonna do is reach for some nunchucks and starting swinging them around to see if my identity included being really fucking good at nunchucks.

realistically it will just result in a lot of broken hospital equipment, but why were the nunchucks laying there in the first place?

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introduction, selfie, no ec 

how are we not all collectively looking at each other and trying to sort out how we let dubstep happen those years ago.

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

one thing that I think would be really good right now is a restaurant called In These Frying Times

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i herd u liek memes.*

* i did not hear this but it seems like a reasonable assumption based on context clues.

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3-d donut 

creating my adult contemporary playlist on spotify for my enjoyment, and also to deal significant damage-per-tick to zoomers in the area of effect.

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

how many objects do you own which have neither been mass-produced, nor made from something that was mass-produced?

every time I think of something, I realize I was wrong. handmade clay bowl? no, the clay was purified thru mechanized processes. bookshelf made from lumber milled in our sawmill? but the nails and paint came from a factory.

so far I've got: some rocks and a skunk skull. dorodangos. a small bundle of aromatic twigs from the desert. maybe this ball of handspun yarn, not sure.

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

food 

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jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

Cosplay is just staring at 30 different pairs of gloves you could get for 3 hours and then never buying any of them

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@vestal I was almost 6’ tall by the time I was 12 so one day my dad came over with a post digger and installed a basketball hoop by the driveway, measured out the freethrow line in chalk, and said “you’re playing basketball” (I grew up in Indiana, this is normal)

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

hello im doing a very normal mario kart double dash speedrun. the speed is normal and so is everything else. it's here:

twitch.tv/sabribirch

just remembered the time that i went to see the movie adaptation of Alone In The Dark and the girl at the ticket window accidentally gave me back $10 too much in change.

and how at first i was a little giddy because it felt like i was getting away with something, but then like 1/3rd into the movie i realized i should have been paid way more to see it.

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

you, crying: diana you can't just call everything "death cult" that doesn't make it true

me, pointing at the priests offering up millions to a death god: d-

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jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

EC 

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

*Six Million Dollar Man sounds*
The Seven Million Dollar Sub

jackdaw :diamond_bl: boosted

I've had it with these motherfucking twinks on this motherfucking plane

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Glittering Diamonds

it's avant garde we ain't gotta explain shit.